Season 1 Episode 1 - Pilot

[INT GRAND CENTRAL STATION, Serena walks in, a girl watches her and takes a photo with her cell phone]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Hey Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here... and I have the biggest news ever. One of my many sources, Melanie91, sends us this: Spotted at Grand Central, bags in hand: Serena van der Woodsen. Was it only a year ago our It-Girl mysteriously disappeared for quote 'boarding school'? And just as suddenly she's back. Don't believe me? See for yourselves: Lucky for us, Melanie91 sent proof. Thanks for the photo, Mel!

[Rufus takes a look around the station and finds his son and daughter, he walks up and hugs them]

Rufus

Dan, Jenny! Over here!
Jenny
Hey, dad!
Rufus
Hey, hey! You made it. Welcome back! How was your weekend? How was your mom?
Dan
She's fine.
Jenny
Good... fine, I guess.
Dan
She's good and fine.
Rufus
Like 'Maybe I should never have left Manhatten' fine or 'Taking a time-out from my marriage was the best idea I've ever had' fine?
Dan
Dad, you know... I'm starving.
Rufus
Let's go home. I'm cooking. Caprese salad with a little mozzarella di Bufala... yeah, I'm gonna make you guys...

[Rufus puts an arms around Jenny and they walk off, Dan turns around and notices Serena]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Spotted: Lonely Boy... can't believe the love of his life has returned. If only she knew who he was. But everyone knows Serena. And everyone is talking.

[EXT NEW YORK - Several people are standing in the streets, looking at the newest 'Gossip Girl' entry on their cell phones]

Gossip Girl

Wonder what Blair Waldorf thinks. Sure, they're BFFs but we always thought Blair's boyfriend Nate had a thing for Serena.

[INT HOME OF THE WALDORFS - BATHROOM - Blair takes a look at a new text message: 'Serena is Back!!', she leaves the bathroom and rejoins a party, her mother, Eleanor, is talking to a friend]

Eleanor

...I have to design a dress for this woman.
[Eleanor turns to Blair]
Eleanor
Blair, if you're gonna to wear one of my designs tell me about it so we can at least get it properly fitted.
Blair
Thanks, mom. Keep that in mind. Great party.
[Eleanor turns back to her friend]
Eleanor
She is my best advertisement.
[Nate, his father, Howie, and another guest are standing together]
Party Guest
So, Nate, started thinking about college?
Howie
Well, actually I'm a Dartmouth man.
Nate
Yes, dad's always spoken very highly of Dartmouth. But I would like to check out west. You know, maybe USC, UCLA?
Howie
His mother wouldn't hear of it. Dartmouth is far enough away for her.
Nate
Yes, well... Dartmouth is my first choice.
[Blair walks up to her boyfriend, Nate, and his father, also called 'The Captain']
Blair
Excuse me, captain. Nate, can I borrow you?
Nate
Eh, sure. Excuse me for a second.
[Chuck, a friend of Nate's is sitting on the couch with Isabel and Katy]
Chuck
Nathaniel, any interest in some fresh air?
[Chuck signals Nate that he wants to smoke a joint with him]
Nate
When I get back?
Blair
If he gets back!
[Blair leads Nate into her bedroom and pushes him onto the bed]
Nate
What's going on?
Blair
I wanna do this... It... Now.
Nate
Now now? You wanted to wait...
Blair
Not anymore.

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Better lock it down with Nate, B. Clock's ticking.

[Chuck plays with his drink, looking bored, Isabel and Katy are reading their text mesages]
Katy
My god, you'll never believe what's on 'Gossip Girl'.
Isabel
Someone saw Serena get off a train at Grand Central.
Chuck
Good, things were getting a little... dull around here.
[EXT HOME OF THE WALDORFS - The doorman opens the door of a town car, Serena gets out]
Serena
Thank you.

[INT BLAIR'S BEDROOM - Blair and Nate are kissing on the bed, undressed]

Blair

I love you. Nate Archiblaid. Always have, always will.
Nate
I love you too.


[INT HOME OF THE WALDORFS - Serena walks in and gets noticed by Eleanor]
Eleanor
Serena van der Woodsen? Is that you?
[Eleanor knocks on the door]
Eleanor
Blair, it's Serena!
Nate
Serena?
Blair
Serena is at school. Kiss me.
Nate
No, I think I heard your mom say she's here. Don't you wanna go say hey?
[Nate gets of the bed and starts getting dressed]
Blair
Yeah... totally.

[INT HOME OF THE WALDORFS - Serena is walking through the party guest who start talking behind her back]
Party Guests
...I heard she is pregnant... rehab... she looks good...
[Serena walks up to her mother, Lily, who is talking to a friend]
Lily
So I told him: Forget it, I don't care if it's mahogany. It clashes with my sofa.
Serena
Mom... mom! Hey.
Lily
Oh, Serena, darling.
[They hug each other]
Serena
So, were is he? What, they haven't let him out yet?
Lily
Let's not discuss this right now, ok? I thought you might want to see some of your friends.
Serena
Thanks.
[Serena notices Nate on the other side of the room, Blair opens her bedroom door and walks into the room, blocking Nate from Serena's view, Serena and Blair hug]
Blair
Hi, Serena, so good to see you.
Serena
Good to see you.
Blair
Come, we're about to have dinner.
Eleanor
I'll set a place for you at the table next to Blair.
Serena
Yeah, actually... there's somewhere I have to go.
Blair
You're leaving?
Serena
Yeah, I just... I don't feel well. I just wanted to come by and say hi. I'll see you at school tomorrow.
[Serena leaves the party]
Blair
School... so I guess she's back for good.
Katy
Didn't you know she was coming?
Blair
Course I did. I just... wanted it to be a surprise.

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Word is that S bailed on B's party in under 90 seconds and didn't even have one lemon shot. Has our bad girl really gone good? Or is it all just part of the act?

[INT OSTROFF CENTER - Serena walks in, passes the nurse's station and looks into a patient's room]
Nurse
Young lady, you can't be here. Visting hours are over.
Serena
I'm family. He's my brother.

[INT HOME OF THE HUMPREYS - DAN'S BEDROOM - Dan is looking at the blog of 'Gossip Girl']
Gossip Girl (Voice Over)
Why'd she leave? Why'd she return? Send me all the deepth. And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell. The only one. XOXO Gossip Girl.
END OF TEASER

[INT OSTROFF CENTER - ERIK'S ROOM - Serena's brother, Erik, finds Serena sleeping on a chair next to his bed and wakes her up]
Erik
Serena... Serena, hey.
Serena
Hey, how are you?
Erik
You know, I've been better.
Serena
Erik, I know I've been a terrible sister. I'm so happy to see you.
Erik
Must be a lot of rumour why you're back.
Serena
Yeah, but none of them mentioned you.
Erik
Just like mom wants, hm?
[Lily enters]
Lily
What do I want, baby? For Serena sleeping in her own bed, possibly wearing pyjamas.
Serena
Morning, mom. Hey, I was just about to ask the doctor if I could take Erik to breakfast. Wanna come?
Lily
Ehm, I think what I'll do is to get him a croissant down the street.
[Lily leaves the room, Serena storms after her]
Erik
Serena, don't!
Serena
Let me guess: You told everyone Erik is just visiting grandpa in Rhode Island.
Lily
Your aunt Carol in Miami.
Serena
So, you're actually hiding him. He tries to take his own life and you're worried it will cost you 'Mom Of The Year'?
Lily
Serena, you've been gone. Doing who knows what with god knows who...
Serena
I told you, boarding school was not like that.
Lily
As happy as I am to have you home, you have no idea what it's been like.

[INT HOME OF THE HUMPHREYS - KITCHEN - Jenny organizes handwritten invitations, Rufus is making breakfast, Dan walks in]
Rufus
Guess who's dad is cool!
Jenny
It's a trick question.
Dan
Yeah, 'cause it can't be ours.
Rufus
Look at this!
[Rufus hands Dan an issue of 'Rolling Stone', Dan reads the front page]
Dan
'Top 10 Forgotten Bands Of The '90s'.
Rufus
Yeah, check out who's number nine.
Jenny
He is very proud.
Dan
Hey, hey way to be forgotten!
Rufus
But that's how you get remembered.
Jenny
Maybe you'd care if dad's band was on 'Gossip Girl'.
Dan
What? I don't read 'Gossip Girl'. That's... that's for chicks.
Jenny
So that wasn't your laptop you've been to last night to read all about Serena van der Woodsen.
[Dan takes the magazine from Rufus]
Dan
Holy stone, wow! Let me take a look at this again, dad. Very cool, looking hot, number nine!
Rufus
Hey, what are you working on?
Jenny
It's called the 'Kiss On The Lips' party. Everyone's going.
Dan
You're invited to that?
[Jenny stares at Dan]
Dan
Well, no offense if I sound surprised... since I've never been invited.
Jenny
One of the girls in my art class saw my calligraphy and she said that if I addressed all the invitations that I got one.
Rufus
Sounds very fair. Sweatshops could learn a thing or two.
Jenny
Dad, this is not a platform for me to end capitalization. That's why you make us go to private schools.
Rufus
That's for your education.
Jenny
So we should be anonymous losers who eat lunch alone and never get invited to parties?
Dan
Works for me.
Jenny
Mom thinks it's a good idea.
Rufus
And her judgment is always sound, right? Jenny, if you wanna go to that party you should go. You kids could use some fun.

[EXT THE PALACE HOTEL - Serena walks up to the front entrance, Nate is already waiting for her]
Serena
Nate?
Nate
Oh, hey! Uhm, your mom told me you guys are staying here at The Palace.
Serena
Yeah, we're renovating... again. You know my mom: If it's not broke, break it. So what are you doing here?
Nate
Oh, I just wanted to see how you were. You seemed kind of upset last night.
Serena
I got to get going and change for school. I'm gonna be late.
Nate
Serena...
Serena
No, no.
Nate
But you're back now.
Serena
I didn't come back for you. Look, Blair's my best friend and you're her boyfriend and she loves you. That's the way things are supposed to be.

[EXT NEW YORK CITY - Dan runs across the street to catch his bus to school]
Taxi Driver
Hey, watch were you're going!

[INT BUS - Chuck and Nate are sitting next to each other, Dan is standing in the alley]
Chuck
Serena looked effing hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection... it needs to be violated.
Nate
You are deeply disturbed.
Chuck
And yet you know I'm right. You're telling me if you had the chance...
Nate
I have a girlfriend.
Chuck
You guys have been dating since kindergarden and you haven't sealed the deal.
Nate
Who says 'seal the seal'?
[Chuck signals Nate that they have arrived at school]
Chuck
Come on.
[They get up, Dan is standing behind them, Chuck turns to Dan]
Chuck
You following us or something?
Dan
No, I... I go to your school. Identical uniforms, that's kind of a tip-off?
Nate
That's funny.
[Chuck and Nate leave the bus, Dan talks to himself]
Dan
So you guys wanna sit together at lunch?

[EXT MET - Blair, Isabel and Katy are sitting on the steps looking at the invitations, Jenny is standing next to them]
Isabel
So cute! They should be framed or something.
Blair
Not bad work. And here is yours... as promised.
[Blair hands Jenny one of the invitations]
Jenny
Thanks.
[Serena walks up to them, eating a yoghurt]
Serena
Hey, here you guys are. I looked all over the dining hall for you.
[Serena notices Jenny and shakes her hand]
Serena
Oh, hi, I'm Serena.
Jenny
I know, uhm, I mean, hi, I'm Jenny.
[Serena picks up one of the invitations]
Serena
So, when's the party?
Blair
Saturday. And you're kinda not invited. Since until 12 hours ago everyone thought you were at boarding school. And Jenny used up all the invites.
Jenny
Uhm, actually...
Blair
You can go now.
[Jenny leaves]
Blair
Sorry.
Serena
No, it's ok. I've got a lot of stuff to do anyway.
[Serena throws the invitation onto the steps]
Blair
Well, we should get going then. Unless you want us to wait for you. Looks like you got a lot of yoghurt left.
Serena
No, go ahead.
[Blair, Isabel and Katy walk away, Serena turns around]
Serena
Blair, think we can meet tonight?
Blair
I'd love to but I'm doing something with Nate tonight.
Serena
The Palace, 8 o'clock. Nate will wait.

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Spotted: At the steps of the Met, an S and B power struggle.

Blair

I can probably do a half hour.

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Did S think she could waltz home and things would be just like they were?

Serena

Thanks for making the time.
Blair
Your my best friend.

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Did B think S would go down without a fight? Or can these two hotties work it out? There's nothing 'Gossip Girl' likes more than a good catfight. And this could be a classic.

[EXT NEW YORK CITY - Rufus is putting up flyers for a concert of his band 'Lincon Hawk', Dan is with him]
Dan
Uh, you know... you know, dad, there's this thing called 'myspace' where you post all this information online. Save some trees, have a blog.
Rufus
Maybe if musicians would get off their blogs and picked up their guitars then music business would be in better shape.
Dan
Ok, like a true relic.
Rufus
Thanks, son.
[Dan's cell phone rings, he takes a look at the new text message: Jenny (Mobile), Sep 24, 2007, 3:15:23 PM, HELP: EMERGENCY. 712 5TH AVE.]
Dan
Hey dad, listen, uhm, I got to run. You'll be ok?
Rufus
Yeah. You'll mom will be back. She's always been a free spirit. That's one of the reasons I fell for her in the first place.
Dan
I meant with the flyers.
Rufus
Luckily, staple guns are old-school. Go, I'm gonna be fine.

[INT OSTROFF CENTER - ERIK'S ROOM - Serena walks in]
Serena
I talked to the nurse and I'm kidnapping you.
Erik
We're going shopping, aren't we.
Serena
We're going to Wendells... just for an hour though, I swear. I had a really bad day.
Erik
Really? 'Cause I had a great day: A couple of pills, bunch of Rorschach tests... they had this green jelly for lunch.
Serena
Mmh, yummy! Why didn't you save me any? Come on, we need to get you out of here before mom shows up.

[INT WENDELLS - DEPARTMENT STORE - Dan walks up to Jenny who's trying on a red dress]
Dan
Jenny, what is it? What is wrong?
Jenny
Do you like this on me?
Dan
Wait... wait a second, is that why you needed me? I thought this was an emergency.
Jenny
A fashion emergency. I mean, come on, I've never been to a big dance before.
Dan
Neither have I.
Jenny
Yeah, but mom's gone and dad's allergic to department stores.
Dan
Well, you look good, Jen. You do, really.
Jenny
Thanks. I'm mean, too bad it's more than our rent but I think I can sew something like it.
[Jenny notices Serena and Erik walking towards them]
Jenny
Oh my gosh, it's Serena. Hi, Serena!
[Jenny takes an invitation adressed to 'Serena van der Woodsen' out of her bag, Dan panics and vanishes]
Serena
Hey. Hey, Jenny, right?
Jenny
Yeah.
Serena
This is my...
Erik
Stylist and personal shopper. Erik, hi.
Jenny
Hi, uhm, this is my brother... or...
[Jenny gestures behind her, notices Dan is gone, Dan is hiding behind a rack of dresses, watching Serena]
Serena
So is this your dress for the 'Kiss On The Lips' party?
Jenny
Sort of. Speaking of that.
[Jenny gives Serena the invitation]
Jenny
Here, I made you one during free period but anyone asks where you got it, I know nothing.
Serena
Thanks.
[Serena and Erik walk away]
Jenny
Dan, Dan?
[Serena turns around]
Serena
Jenny, that dress would look even better in black.
Jenny
Black. Cool. Thanks.

[EXT NEW YORK - PARK - Chuck and Nate are taking a walk, smoking a Joint]
Chuck
This is some good stuff.
Nate
Yeah, I'm gonna need it. Blair's mom's at the country house.
Chuck
Yeah? Then maybe I should swipe some of my dad's viagra? Or my mom's paxils? Nathaniel, you're finally about to have sex with your girlfiend. It's like you're heading to your execution.
Nate
No, man. I'm good.
Chuck
Talk to Chuck, buddy. You and Blair have been dating forever, all of a sudden there is a problem?
Nate
There is no problem. It's just... do you ever feel like our whole lives have been planned out for us? That we're just gonna... end up like our parents?
Chuck
Man, that's a dark thought.
Nate
You know, aren't we entitled to choose... just to be happy?
Chuck
Look, easy, Sokrates. What we're entitled to is a trust fund... maybe a house in the Hamptons, a prescription drug problem. Happiness does not seem to be on the menue. So smoke up and seal the deal with Blair... 'cause you're also entitled to tab that ass.

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - BAR - Serena and Blair are sitting at the bar, Blair is drinking a Martini]
Serena
So, how's your mom doing... with the divorce and everything?
Blair
Great. So my dad left her for another man. She's lost 15 pounds, got an eye-lift. It's been good for her.
Serena
I'm really sorry.
Blair
Yeah, I could tell since you didn't call or write the entire time it was happening.
Serena
No, I know... I was just... boarding school... it's like...
Blair
I don't even know why you went to boarding school to begin with. Do you know how it felt, calling your house when you didn't show up at school and having your mom say: Serena didn't tell you that she moved to Connetticut?
Serena
I just... I had to go. I needed to get away from everything. Please just trust me.
Blair
How can I trust you when I feel like I don't even know you.
Serena
Let's fix that. I saw you at school with Katy and Is and I get it. I don't want to take any of that away from you. I just...
Blair
Because it's just yours to take if you want it?
Serena
No, that's not what I mean. I... I miss you. I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. You know, walking to school togheter, dancing on tables at Bungalow, the nights when we were at your mom's country house. You were like my sister... and with our families... we need each other.
Blair
Well, you missed some classic Eleanor Waldorf melt-downs. If it wasn't such a tragedy it would have been funny. Actually kinda was.
Serena
Well, I wish I could have been there.
Blair
You are now. I have to meet Nate. I kind of have something special and...
Serena
Well, I don't want to keep you but...
[Serena hugs Blair]
Serena
I love you, B.
Blair
I love you too, S.
[Blair leaves]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Spotted: At The Palace Hotel, S and B having a heart to heart.
[Serena takes Blair's left over Martini and emptys it in one gulp]
Gossip Girl (Voice Over)
Hmm, why so thirsty, S? You may have won over B for now but we still think you're hiding something.

[INT HOME OF THE HUMPHREYS - JENNY'S ROOM - Jenny is sitting at the sewing machine, Dan enters]
Dan
Hey!
Jenny
Ah, the invisible man returns. You know, I really had no idea you could move that fast.
Dan
Yeah, well, your fashion emergency was solved, so... I figured my work was done.
Jenny
Come on, Dan. Serena said hi to you at her 9th grade birthday party and you've never forgotten it.
Dan
How could I? She was the only person who spoke to me. And I'm pretty sure she thought I was someone else.
Jenny
Well, you know, she is actually nice. And if she did know you I think she would really like you.
Dan
I don't know, I think she would be a tad overwhelmed by the glitz and the glamour of the Humphrey lifestyle.
Jenny
Well, I heard she's living at The Palace Hotel.
Dan
Well, my point exactly.
Jenny
Probably sitting at the bar by herself, sipping Martinis... all alone. You know, it's actually kinda sad. Oh, and dad's at the gallery working late. He left money for dinner, so I was thinking Indian.
Dan
You know... you know what, I think I'm... I'm gonna go out.
[Dan leaves]
Jenny
Ok... good, 'cause I already ordered and only got enough for one.
[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - BAR - Chuck enters, shoves some women aside]
Chuck
Hello, please.
[Chuck walks over to Serena who is having another Martini]
Chuck
I love this town. I'm going to have to tell my parents the hotel they just bought is serving minors.
Serena
And if you get a drink they are also serving pigs.
Chuck
I love it when you talk dirty.
Serena
You just love when a girl talks to you.
Chuck
Actually, I prefer them when they're not talking.
Serena
Oh, I've missed your witty banter.
Chuck
Let's catch up. Take our clothes off, stare at each other.
Serena
What about I just get a bit to eat. I've been drinking on an empty stomach.
Chuck
I heard you didn't do that anymore.
Serena
Special occasion.
Chuck
Well, what about a grilled cheese with truffel oil? You do love truffels?
Serena
Enough to know it's not on the menue.
Chuck
But then I'm connected.
Serena
Only because I'm hungry.

[INT HOME OF THE WALDORFS - BLAIR'S BEDROOM - The room is lit by candles, Nate enters, Blair is waiting for him in lingerie]
Nate
Wow.
Blair
Hi.
Nate
Hi.
Blair
Is it too much? I wanted it to be special.
[Blair kisses Nate but he pulls away]
Blair
What's wrong?
Nate
Look, I don't know how to say this... or if it's even the right thing to do but ehm... there's something I need to tell you.

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - KITCHEN - Chuck puts a bundle of Dollar bills into the jacket of the chef, Alfonso and his staff leave]
Chuck
Alfonso, you're stud. Now have good night, we're closing the kitchen early.
Serena
Oh my god, this is so good.
Chuck
Well, if you're looking for a way to thank me I've got a couple ideas.
Serena
It's a sandwich, Chuck.
[Chuck touches Serena's thigh and leans in on her]
Serena
This is... this is not happening right now.
Chuck
You're worried Nate will find out?
Serena
What?
Chuck
Last year... the Sheperd wedding... think I don't know why you left town?

[FLASHBACK - ONE YEAR AGO - INT BAR - Serena is dancing on the bar, holding a bottle of champagne, Nate tries to stop her]
Nate
Serena, you are not supposed to be here.
Serena
Oh well, if the happy couple didn't want to put up a catch for the bar they should let me be where I want to be. Move!
Nate
Let me see it!
Serena
No, make me!
Nate
I can do it, I can open it. Let me show you... here, come here. Let me see...
Serena
No!
Nate
Let me... stop?
[They both pull on the bottle until it opens with a loud bang]
Serena
Nate!
Nate
That never happens to me.
Serena
It's ok. You're stronger than me, alright.
Nate
Come here.
Serena
Look at you, you're a mess.
Nate
So are you.
[Serena and Nate are about to kiss]

[INT BLAIR'S BEDROOM - Nate turns his face away from Blair]
Blair
But... that was it... you guys kissed.
[Nate shakes his head]

[FLASHBACK - ONE YEAR AGO - INT BAR - Serena and Nate make out heavily, undressing each other, Chuck watches from the balcony]
[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - KITCHEN]
Chuck
Best friend and the boyfriend. That's pretty classy, S. I think you're more like me than you admit.
Serena
No, no, that... that was then. I'm trying to change.
Chuck
I liked you better before.
[Chuck tries to kiss Serena, she pushes him away]
Serena
Stop it. Stop! No! Stop it!

[FLASHBACK - ONE YEAR AGO - INT BAR - Serena and Nate are having sex, Serena is gasping loudly]
[INT BLAIR'S BEDROOM - Blair pushes Nate away]
Blair
I knew it! I always knew there was something! Get out!

[FLASHBACK - ONE YEAR AGO - INT BAR - Serena is sitting on top of Nate, riding him]
[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - KITCHEN - Chuck violenty tries to kiss Serena]
Serena
Chuck, no!
[FLASHBACK - ONE YEAR AGO - INT BAR - Serena and Nate make out heavily]
[INT BLAIR'S BEDROOM - Blair falls onto her bed and starts crying]
[FLASHBACK - ONE YEAR AGO - INT BAR - Nate kisses Serena's breasts]
[INT BLAIR'S BEDROOM - Blair cries]
[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - KITCHEN - Chuck is still trying to kiss Serena]
Serena
Get off of me!
[Serena kicks Chuck between the legs and storms off]

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - BAR - Dan looks around the bar for Serena, she enters the bar and crashes into him, her purse flies to the ground, Dan helps her to pick up her things]
Dan
I'm... so sorry, Are you ok?
[Serena takes her purse and runs off, Dan finds her cell phone on the floor and tries to tell Serena but she is already gone]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

And just when B and S had built a bridge... it all had to come crashing down. But dry your eyes: the 'Kiss On The Lips' party is around the corner. And you know who loves parties? Gossip Girl.
[EXT - NEW YORK - PARK - Nate and his father are having a race, Howie wins]
Howie
Nice try, son.
Nate
Maybe next time.
Howie
You seem upbeat this morning. Did you have fun with Blair last night?
Nate
Actually, we got into a pretty big fight.
Howie
You want my advice? Apologise. Even if it was her fault. Flowers, maybe some jewellery if she's really upset. Always works for your mother.
Nate
I don't know. I think it may be for the best.
Howie
Wait a minute, you guys broke up?
Nate
Yeah, I guess we did.
Howie
Blair is a great girl.
Nate
I know. But I'm just not sure if she's the girl for me.
Howie
But you guys have been dating since kindergarden.
Nate
So I keep hearing.
Howie
I mean, you love her, don't you?
Nate
Yes, I do. I just think it might be good for us to take a break, you know.
Howie
Maybe not right now. Eleanor Waldorf is gearing up to take her company public and I've been cording her for month to let me handle the deal.
Nate
Then you should get it.
Howie
I will get it... if you just help me out a little bit.
[Nate looks at his father in disbelief]
Howie
What? You love her, she loves you. It's just a rough patch, that's all. You don't give up just because things are hard. Not in business or if your family is depending on you.

[INT - THE PALACE HOTEL - Dan is standing at the reception talking to the Concierge who is holding Serena's cell phone]
Concierge
How did you know it was Miss van der Woodsen if you didn't read it and if you are not a guest at the hotel what were you doing there?
Dan
What? Uhm, look, when Prince Charming found Cinderella's slipper they didn't accuse him of having a foot-fetish.
Concierge
And you are Prince Charming? Well, there is Miss van der Woodsen now...
Dan
No, no, no, no...
Concierge
Serena!
[Serena turns around and walks over to the reception]
Dan
Don't, don't...
Concierge
Do you know this young man?
Dan
She doesn't know me. Nobody knows me. It's cool, it's fine.
Serena
Uhm, from last night, right? I'm sorry about that.
Dan
You remember me?
[Dan turns back to the Concierge]
Dan
She remembers me.
Concierge
Well, he claims he found your cell phone.
Serena
Oh, you found it.
[Lily walks over, carrying a cloth bag]
Serena
Hey, mom.
Lily
Guess what I found for you... a dress for 'Kiss On The Lips'. I saw the invitation on the nightstand.
Serena
Oh, uhm, I'm not going to that.
Lily
What do you mean? Blair's throwing it.
Serena
Yeah, uhm... see the problem is I... by the time I got the invitation... I uhm, actually already had plans.
Lily
Plans with whom?
Serena
My friend.
Dan
Eh, yeah, hi, nice to meet you Misses van der Woodsen. I'm Dan... Humphrey.
Lily
What are you and Dan Humphrey doing?
Serena
We... uhm...
[Dan shows Lily a flyer for his dad's concert]
Dan
Eh, we're going to a concert tonight.
Lily
Lincon Hawk?
Dan
Yeah, 'Rolling Stone' named them one of the 'Top 10 Forgotten Bands Of The '90s'.
Serena
Whooh! I'm a huge fan.
Dan
Uh-hum.
Lily
Well, this party would have been the perfect opportunity for you to announce your return but I guess I'll just keep the dress for myself.
[Lily walks off]
Serena
Thank you.
Dan
Yeah, no, I... it's not a problem, really.
[Dan starts walking off]
Serena
So pick me up at eight?
Dan
You really go out with some guy you don't know?
Serena
Well, you can't be worse than the guys I do know.

[INT JAPANESE RESTAURANT - Blair and Nate are having dinner]
Nate
Thanks for meeting me. Look, Blair, I really hurt you and I know that and I want to fix it.
Blair
Really? And how are you gonna do that?
Nate
I'm gonna put everything in the past. I'm not gonna see Serena again or even talk to her. It'll be like she doesn't exist.
Blair
I think that's a good idea. Let's not mention it again. You gonna eat that?
[Blair picks up a piece of sushi from Nate's plate]
Nate
That's it? 'Cause you were pretty upset last night... I mean, should we talk about this?
Blair
There is nothing to talk about. I overreacted... you say it's in the past, it's in the past. I'm sure you have no feelings for her anymore. I just feel bad for Serena... she'll really miss you. What time does the limo come?
Nate
Eight.
Blair
Perfect.

[INT THE HUMPHREY'S ART GALLERY - Rufus is working, Lily walks in]
Rufus
Lily! Are you shopping for some more art to match your furniture?
Lily
Why is my dauthter going to one of your concerts?
Rufus
'Cause we're awesome.
Lily
With your son?
Rufus
Dan's got a date with Serena?
Lily
Hmm.
Rufus
Well, your kids were about to meet, it's a small island.
Lily
You're sure it's not some ploy your using my daughter to get to me? Now that your wife left you?
Rufus
How do you know about Alison?
Lily
Like you said: Small island.
Rufus
Oh, I get it: You hear about Alison, use your daughter as an excuse to start something.
Lily
Yeah, in your dream!
Rufus
Well, you are in my dreams, Lily... and one of them particular occurs finding you in the back of a Nine Inch Nails bus with your shoes in your earrings and Trent Reznor... oh, that happened!
Lily
No need to rehash details of decades pass. So I moved on.
Rufus
Yeah, from Chanterlane to Paris until you switched up rock stars for billionaires.
Lily
You think you're so cute. Washed up band, crappy so-called 'art gallery'.
Rufus
Well, not all of us have settlements from mulitple divorc├ęs to sustain us.
Lily
Just stay out of my life, Rufus!

[INT HOME OF THE HUMPHREYS - Jenny and Dan are standing in front of a mirror, getting ready to go out]
Jenny
You're going out with Serena and I'm going to 'Kiss On The Lips'. Who said this family wasn't cool.
Dan
Well, listen, I don't want to be late but you're looking great.
Jenny
Same.
[Dan leaves, Rufus comes home, they pass in the hallway]
Dan
See you at the concert, right dad.
Rufus
I, uhm... ok. [Rufus sees Jenny and walks over to her]
Rufus
Oh my god, my daughter is a woman.
Jenny
Dad, you could just tell me I look nice instead of turning this into a sermon on the passage of time.
Rufus
You look like... your mother.
Jenny
Thanks.

[INT BLAIR'S BEDROOM - Blair is looking at herself in a full-length mirror, she's wearing a brown dress, Eleanor enters]
Eleanor
Blair. let me see how it looks! Why are you wearing that one? Didn't you see the dress I left on the bed?
Blair
I like this one.
Eleanor
This one is not as elegant a choice as that one.
Blair
Why do you care so much?
Eleanor
Because I love you. Blair, you will never be more beautiful or thin or happy than you are right now. I just want you to make the most of it.
Blair
I guess I have time to change.
Eleanor
And put some product in your hair. The ends are dry.

[INT LIMOUSINE - Blair, Nate, Chuck, Isabel and Katy are laughing and drinking champagne]
[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - Dan enters and sees Serena standing on the gallery, they look at each other and smile]

[INT 'KISS ON THE LIPS' PARTY - Chuck, Isabel and Katy are standing at the bar, Chuck spots Jenny in the crowd]
Chuck
Who's the newbie?
Katy
Jenny Humphrey. She's a freshman.
Chuck
I love freshman. They're so...
Isabel
...fresh?
Chuck
Anything about her on 'Gossip Girl'?
Isabel No.
Mmh... till you're done with her.
[Chuck walks over to Jenny]
Chuck
Hi, I'm Chuck.
Jenny
I know, uhm, I mean, hi, I'm Jenny.
Chuck
It's nice to meet you.
Jenny
You too.
Chuck
Thank you.

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Looks like little Jen might end up with a new boy and a ticket to the inner circle. Or will C end up with another victim? I told you I love parties.

[EXT NEW YORK - Serena and Dan are walking down the street towards the back entrance of a club, the band is unloading their equipment]
Serena
So I'm a little overdressed, aren't I?
Dan
Honestly, I don't really have a problem with your appearance. Hey, come on, I want you to meet one of the guys in the band.
Serena
Oh, so you're a groupie?
Dan
Well, not quite.
[Dan leads Serena to Rufus]
Dan
Serena, I'd like you to meet Rufus Humphrey. Dad, this is Serena.
Rufus
Serena van der Woodsen. Oh, I don't know how I know that. Nice to meet you.
Serena
Nice to meet you too.
Rufus
You guys are a little early. It's gonna be a while before we take the stage.
Dan
Yeah, I may have slightly overbudgeted it for travel time.
[One of Rufus' bandmates holds Rufus' guitar into the air]
Rufus' Bandmate
Hey!
Rufus
I should go tune that. Excuse me. Enjoy the show! Son, talk to you later.
[Rufus leaves]
Dan
Yeah, see you.
Serena
So you took me to meet your dad on our first date?
Dan
So this... this is a date? Ah, maybe I should have worn my loafers then... and dress down a little bit.

[INT 'KISS ON THE LIPS' PARTY - Chuck leads Jenny upstairs]
Chuck
Let's go and talk some in private.
Jenny
Ok.
[They stop in the empty stairway]
Jenny
This is definitely quieter but do you actually know where we're going or...
Chuck
Here looks pretty good.
[Chuck leans in to kiss Jenny but she pulls away]
Jenny
So, you said you wanted to talk. Uhm, what do you want to talk about?
Chuck
How into you I am.
[Chuck starts kissing Jenny but after a few moments she pulls away again]
Chuck
Ok, I am sorry. If you don't want to do anything that's cool. Let's start over.
Jenny
Yeah, uhm... do you wanna start over back at the party?
Chuck
Eh... have a glass of champagne, please?
Jenny
Maybe one.
[While Chuck pours a glass of champagne, Jenny takes out her cell phone and starts texting]

[EXT CLUB - Serena and Dan leave the club, Dan holds the door open for her]
Serena
Thanks.
[Dan stares at Serena]
Serena
What?
Dan
Sorry, nothing, nothing. I just, uhm... my sister was right: You're nice.
Serena
You asked my out on a date and you didn't think I was nice?
Dan
No, uh... I just thought you were hot. And technically, you asked me out.
Serena
Oh, ok, ok, I see. So, uhm, sensible tortured soul boy is actually kind of superficial.
Dan
Yeah, just a little bit.
Serena
Good to know.
[Dan's cell phone rings, he takes a look at the new text message: Jenny (Mobile), Sep 25, 2007, 9:15:05 PM, HELP. EMERGENCY. NEED YOU, J.]
Dan
Sorry.
[Dan gets another text message: Jenny (Mobile), Sep 25, 2007, 9:15:44 PM, 911, 4 REAL PLEASE. U KNOW Chuck?]
Serena
Got a better offer?
Dan
No, it's my sister. She's at that 'Kiss On The Lips' party, you know. She's having some problems with that guy Chuck. I'm sorry, I have to go.
Serena
I'll go with you.
Dan
No, really, that's ok.
Serena
No, no, listen, if it's Chuck it's not ok.

[INT 'KISS ON THE LIPS' PARTY - Dan and Serena enter]
Dan
I'm gonna do a lap, ok? Look for her.
Serena
Yeah, ok.
[The guests notice Serena and start gossiping]
Party Guests
... Serena... it's Serena... oh my gosh... is she really here?... is that really her?... Blair said she wasn't invited... she is wasted... she is so brave...
[Isabel and Katy both get new text messages]
Isabel and Katy
Serena's here?
Blair
What is she doing here? She wasn't invited.
[Blair makes her way through the crowd towards Serena but Nate stops her]
Nate
Blair, come on, are you really gonna kick her out?
Blair
Did you invite her?
Nate
What? No! God! I told you.
Blair
Do not talk to her.
Nate
I was going for a walk.
[Nate passes Serena without looking at her, Serena turns around and stares at Blair]

[EXT ROOF TOP - Chuck tries to kiss Jenny against her will]
Jenny
No!
Chuck
Quiet.
Jenny
Stop!

[INT 'KISS ON THE LIPS' PARTY - Serena finds Dan]
Sererna
Hey, no luck?
Dan
No, I haven't seen here anywhere.
Sererna
Come on, let's try upstairs.
[They go upstairs]
Dan
There isn't going to be anybody up here. This is pointless.
[Serena finds a scarf on the floor]
Sererna
Dan!
Dan
What?
Sererna
That's Chuck's scarf.
Dan
Oh god!

[EXT ROOF TOP - Chuck is still trying to kiss Jenny, Dan runs over to them]
Jenny
Get off. Stop!
Dan
Hey, Jenny!
Sererna
Chuck! Get off of here!
[Chuck lets Jenny go, Dan hugs her]
Dan
Are you ok?
[Dan walks over to Chuck who pushes him away]
Dan
Son of a...
Chuck
What the hell is your problem? It's a party. Things happen. Who are you anyway?
Dan
How many times do I have to tell you? I'm in your class. My name is Dan Humphrey... and that is my little sister.
[Dan punches Chuck in the face, Chuck's nose is bleeding]
Sererna
Let's go. come on. [Serena pushes Chuck]
Sererna
Chuck, don't you ever touch her again!
Chuck
Hey, you're life is over, slut! Don't forget: I know everything!

[INT 'KISS ON THE LIPS' PARTY - Blair watches Serena, Dan and Jenny leaving]
Dan
You sure you're ok?
Jenny
Yeah, I will be. Just take me home, ok?
[They step outside]
Dan
So, think I've got a shot at a second date?
Sererna
Well, I don't think we can top this one.
Dan
I did punch someone.
Serena
True, we talk about it in the cab.
[They get into the cab, Nate watches them leave, Blair and Chuck stand outside too]
Blair
She better not show her face again.
Chuck
I'm actually hoping she will.

[INT CAB - Dan hugs Jenny, then looks at Serena who smiles at him, Serena turns and looks out of the side window]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Spotted: Serena... making an heroic exit from B's party. Too bad for her there's school on Monday. So, until next time. You know you love me... Gossip Girl.


END OF EPISODE